Moving on, Moving Forward
by ikyle8
Summary: Post OotP. Over the summer after fifth year Ron, Ginny, Hermione, and Harry talk a lot of things out. Much of it long overdue. semi abandoned for three years but i have the time to devote to again and I am stubborn enough to do so even if i lost my reader
1. Moving On

Moving on, Moving forward

Disclaimer: The usual. I own nothing and I am not stealing but politely borrowing for a little while.

Summary Ron explains some of his thoughts on dating, his sister, and his friends. post OotP.

"Writing to Dean?"

Ginny sighed deeply and looked Ron in the eye before replying. "No, I am writing to Luna, And Ron, you really need to just let it go."

"What are you talking about? Let go of what?" Ron asked with apparently genuine curiosity.

"Why can't we both just accept that you are going to hate my boyfriends and move on with life?" Ginny said in a brisk manner.

Ron put his quill down and looked at Ginny carefully. All the things he had wanted to say since learning his little sister was dating were running through his head. The things that worried him and and all the things he hoped for her. He could see Hermione pretending not to watch him and pretending not to hope he wouldn't say anything stupid while the three sat together in headquarters writing letters. He pushed his own letter to Harry aside for the moment.

"That's not really fair. Sure, I thought that Corner bloke was a bit of a git but I let you make your own choices and didn't interfere. I kept my complaints to myself and my two best mates. It's not my fault Hermione ratted me out to you." Ron watched with some satisfaction as Hermione turned pink but she stayed quiet not wanting to get involved at the moment.

"The point is you disliked him the moment you knew I was dating him. You didn't have a problem with Dean until I fancied him. You just don't want your little sister dating anyone."

"I always though Corner was a prat." Ron smiled. "I was just indifferent about it until he started dating you. You did dump the git for a reason, remember? I have no problem with Dean. I like Dean. If I happen to think that you could do better it is because I think so highly of you. No, listen. I want you to be happy and whoever you want I won't get in the way. You are smart, pretty, funny, and kind and you deserve someone special. Someone who will treat you right. Someone good enough."

"You can be sweet sometimes," Ginny said slowly. "But are you ever going to think anyone is good enough for me?"

"Of course. I'm not unreasonable, but I don't get to pick and you chose Dean. Mind you, if he hurts you I'll rip off his right arm and beat him to death with it."

"Ron!" Ginny tired to keep glaring at Ron but again it was sweet in an overprotective sort of way. She gave up and giggled. She felt kind of special and close to him at the moment and she knew he was kidding. Mostly.

"Ginny," Ron began, serious once more. "I'm sorry I teased you about your feelings for Harry. We're Weasleys and it's how we relate but I should have been kinder. You know you can talk to me, don't you? You don't have to hide things from me."

"I know. I was just tired of four years of teasing. I wanted to enjoy having a boyfriend without being hassled. I won't be so secretive next time."

"Good," said Ron, grinning and reaching for his letter to Harry. "And I'll try not to be a prat about it." He got only half a sentence back into his letter when he glanced up to see a meaningful look being passed between Ginny and Hermione. "What?"

"Well," Ginny began, "I was wondering when you were going to start dating?"

"I'll let you know."

Hermione snorted. She had been keeping unusually quiet but seemed to think this was safer ground to enter the conversation.

"You just asked Ginny not to hide things from you and now you are being evasive."

"I am not being evasive. How was I supposed to answer? Pick a random date by which I will have a girlfriend? It doesn't work like that." Ron continued calmly. "The last couple of years I have put a lot of time into my friends. I think that is where my priorities should have been with everything that is going on. I mean, sure, I would like to have a girlfriend but what's the point if I don't have the time and attention to make a decent go of it? I'd just hack off a girl I liked."

"Ron, that really is very mature of you, but you could find the time if you wanted to. Nobody has more on his plate than Harry and he went out with Cho..." Ron cut Hermione off.

"Yeah and that worked out so bloody well. Didn't it?"

"Harry and Cho went up in flames for different reasons. They were doomed from the start." Ginny said.

"Yeah, alright, yeah. I think even Harry knew it was doomed but went ahead anyway. He still liked her but would not have pursued anything. Even when she came after him so hard he was reluctant but with the opportunity right there I guess he had to find out if it might possibly work."

"She went after him?" Ginny asked.

"Yep. Cornered him at Christmas and kissed him. Then she strongly hinted that he should ask her out until he finally asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him." Ron said.

"The point is you can have a girlfriend if you want one." Hermione brought them back on topic. "After all, you have your own "Weasley is our King" fan following after last year."

"Funny 'Mione. Even if that were true I am still not some conceited git like Malfoy. I don't want a girlfriend just to have one. She has to be special," said Ron.

"Do you like someone?" Ginny asked.

"Sorry. That's my business," Ron smiled. "If I did, I'd have to tell her before you anyway."

"If we asked Harry, would he know?" Ginny asked again.

"Maybe, I don't know. I didn't say anything but I don't always have to with Harry. He knows me pretty well." Ron said.

"Would Hermione know?"

Ron grinned widely.

"Ask her. She is right here."

Hermione was watching Ron closely with slightly pink cheeks. She usually controlled herself better then this. Ginny didn't ask and several moments went by before Hermione started to speak slowly.

"Ron, you are happily answering questions that would usually annoy you. Why?"

"Good mood, I guess. Besides, like you said. I just asked Ginny to be open with me so I have to try to be open with her."

"And me?"

"Hermione, I usually tell you everything anyway. Just not this much in one sitting, I suppose. Honestly, I've answered every question you have ever asked me." Ron was pleased to see Hermione grin almost goofily at him. Pleasure quickly turned to near panic as the goofy grin turned into a devious smile.

"So, do you like anyone?" Hermione purred. Yes, purred.

"That is so not right," Ron sighed. "Yes. Yes I do. And I am not saying anymore"

"Why not? We could help. Hermione helped Harry a lot with Cho last year." Ginny said.

"I'm not doing anything about it yet. I'll let you know when I need help." Ron, despite forcing himself to remain calm, started to blush.

"Don't you trust us?" Hermione asked.

"Of course I do. But even best friends have some secrets." Ron said. "Or do you mind if I read your next letter from Krum?"

"Alright, alright. I still think this is different." said Hermione sounding hurt and left out.

"Hermione, when I am ready you will be the first to know. I promise." Ron smiled and hoped it would be enough for now. He wasn't ready. Soon, but not yet. It was too important to mess up. Hermione smiled back and they got lost looking at each other for a moment before starting and looking away. Ginny to cover the moment decided to tease Ron a bit.

"Ronnie, you sure you don't want to play the field a bit with your new fan club? (Wow, thought Ginny, Hermione has quite the death glare) "Some were quite pretty."

"Nah, Most of them never even spoke to me before I started to get a little bit of attention. In a small way it helped me understand how Harry feels."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked curiously.

"Those girls didn't really know me. They liked me because I was popular at the moment and if they went out with me they'd get attention too. When the Yule ball was announced our fourth year a ton of girls asked Harry to go. Six, I think, just the very first day. They were pretty too. McGonogal had made it very clear about his duty to represent the school at the dance and he was nervous about having to ask someone. It would have been easy to say yes to one of them but he told them all no. He wanted to go with someone who wanted to be with him. Just Harry. None of these girls knew him and some had never even spoke to him. They wanted to go with the Boy who lived or the Triwizard champion. You know how Harry hates that nonsense, he would rather have gone alone. When Cho turned him down he asked Parvati. They weren't close but they had at least talked in class and on some level she saw Harry as a real person."

"Not that he sent much of the ball with her," Hermione said.

"He wasn't keen on dancing. Plus his best friend was being a git to you and his own date and Harry stuck with me out of loyalty." Ron grinned.

"Ron," Ginny began tentatively "did Harry think about me the same way when I had a crush on him? He must have known about it." More hotly "Bloody everybody knew about it!"

"Yeah, he knew and no he didn't. You were always in a special category."

"Meaning?"

Ron was trying to choose his words very carefully/

"Harry has always liked you and not just as a member of his favorite family. You were so shy around him but the first time you said more than two words in front of him it was to defend him against Malfoy. He told me once he felt bad that he wasn't getting to know the Ginny that Fred, George, and I talked about. He tried talking to you but it just made you more uncomfortable and withdrawn. He didn't know what to do and typically blamed himself. Growing up with the Dursleys no one taught him how to act in social situations. He thinks that he doesn't know how to act or the right things to say and do. It's silly. Harry is naturally kind and more often than not does the right thing out of instinct, but he still worries. Anyway he didn't push getting to know you because not knowing what to do he decided to do nothing, hoping to at least not make it worse. I can tell you that as moody as he was last year he was delighted that you started to talk to him and glad to have you as a friend."

"It feels good to talk to him like a normal person and I'm glad to have him as a friend too." Ginny said sincerely but felt some of the old uncertainty clawing at the back of her mind. "Did he think I was a silly little girl with a crush?"

"Harry is not like that. We never talked specifically about this so the best I can do is give you my best guess based on how well I know him. He didn't respond to your feeling s for two reasons. One, while you were still too shy to speak around him he never really got to know you. Two, he must have felt that you couldn't really know him either and that you had feelings for an image in your head of who he is based on what you had heard about him. He would have felt too awkward and mean to tell you that you didn't really know him so he never pushed the subject. Even if he was wrong from his point of view he had no way of knowing unless you told him so or at least gave him more information to go on."

"So it's my fault he never noticed me?"

"No. I told you he noticed you. You weren't invisible. But Harry is not the type to fall for a pretty face he knows nothing about. He only started to get to know you this year. Before he knew some things about you but he didn't know you." Ron made a quick decision to tell her what he had been thinking for a while. "To tell the truth, I think you would have been great with Harry. I think somehow you really understand him and that you liked the real Harry. You seem to know what to say to him no matter what his mood is and you were the only one that could get through to him last Christmas. You'd be good for him. Plus I'd be happy because, yes, he would treat you right and never hurt you."

"Ron, I gave up on him. I had to..."

"I'm not saying you should start chasing him again. Just, if you still have feelings for him don't completely shut the door now that he is finally seeing the real you. The real you is amazing and he is not completely stupid. You are perfect for him and if you are willing to take him on, more power to you."

Ginny was to say the least conflicted.

"I don't know if I can put myself in that position again."

"Then don't. Keep being yourself. Keep being a friend. Let him come around and be the one to chase you. Then it will be your decision to let him off the hook easy or make him suffer for taking so long." Ron grinned before turning mock serious. "He is my best mate though, so be gentle."

Ginny giggled despite herself and stood up.

"I don't know about Harry ever chasing me but I never closed any doors. I just had to stop waiting and live my life. I am still going to so I guess it is up to Harry. I do still care for Harry and thank you for telling me all this. I felt so foolish about a lot of things I did around him. I am going to send this to Luna, can I borrow Pigwidgeon?"

"Sure, I won't finish this letter today." Ron waved her on.

"Thanks." Ginny turned back at the door. "Ron, more than anything... thanks for the talk."

"Anytime." Ron smiled.

"Ronald. You of all people, playing matchmaker." Hermione said trying to sound stern but looking extremely pleased.

"A tad girlish, I know." Ron said. "I'm willing to endure a bit to move this one along."

"You have no problems with your best mate and little sister being together?" Hermione asked.

"You'd think I would, but no. If they are happy and good for each other why should I be fussed?" Ron reasoned.

"There will be snogging."

"Hermione! Please! Mentally not even going there."

"Okay." Hermione smiled. Ron gathered up his quill and parchment and announced:

"I'm going to put these away for now. How about a game of chess?"

"Sure."

Ron stopped at the doorway and turned around.

"Oh 'Mione." Ron waited until he was sure he had her attention. "You are the one I like. You were always the one I liked."

Ron walked out the door.

A/N

Definitely a Ron piece. Ginny and Hermione didn't have much to do. They will get their turn in future installments. I was just tired of much of the fandom of treating Ron like an idiotic hothead. Yes he has blind spots in his personal life but so do we all. It is easy to see mistakes from a distance with nothing at stake.  
Anyway, I seeRon as intelligent, funny, and even sometimes thoughtful if also carefree, relaxed, and yes sometimes prickly, argumentative, and dense. Above all loyal to friends and family. That's what I tried to show here.  
Also, right now I am better at writing dialogue so I am leaning on my strengths and will build on my weaknesses as I go.

Hope you like it. Please review.


	2. Headless Ron

He likes me? He's always liked me? He tells me that and then walks out like nothing happened? I'll kill him! Hermione blushed deeply and kept staring at her hands. Her feelings for Ron were often conflicted to, say the least but at the moment she didn't know which of a thousand impulses was winning. She had to sort things through logically and decide what to do. She couldn't snog him senseless and scratch his eyes out at the same time. Okay, so what happened? Ron, Ginny, and I were talking. Ron was being very sweet to Ginny and I was impressed that he was being unusually open and thoughtful. He let Ginny borrow Pigwidgeon to send a letter and asked if I wanted to play chess. I was so proud of him and felt so close to Ron. Then he told me he likes me. And walked out. To get his chess pieces. Thinking we are still going to play chess. Alright it is perfectly clear then. I'll kill him!

She went pounding up the stairs with a small part of her mind grateful Mrs. Black had finally been removed. A large chunk of wall was missing with her but at least she was gone. She stormed into Ron's room ready to lash into him. Instead she stopped suddenly, screamed, stumbled back a few steps, and then falling back on her rear. Standing above her was Ron. Rather Ron's body from the shoulders down because his head was missing. Headless Ron knelt down to face her (so to speak) and his hand grabbed for something unseen before tossing aside a brightly colored hat and his bright red head reappeared.

"Mione, are you okay?" Ron asked anxiously.

Hermione didn't answer and let her anger build as she realized what happened.

"I'm so sorry," Ron pleaded. "I heard you coming up the stairs. I knew you were furious with me. I thought I could distract you for a second to give you a chance to cool down a bit. So I grabbed one of Fred and George's Headless hats..."

"Oh well done Ron! How do you reckon it is working so far?" Hermione asked in an extremely dangerous voice.

"Well in retrospect there might have been a wiser course of action." Ron said with a slight touch of a grin.

Hermione was mad but still started laughing. He is so going to pay for this but is pretty funny. He's cute too, so maybe I won't kill him. I'm going to make him suffer and cry for his momma but he can live. No use wasting good material and he does like me. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees looking at Ron's relieved face.

"Don't think you're getting off that easy." Hermione grinned evilly.

Ron's face quickly lost the look of relief. He sat down cross legged across from her. He started looking furtively around the room hoping she didn't notice he was trying to pick the right words out of the air,

"Hermione, I..."

"No, it's my turn." Hermione said firmly. Despite this she let the silence drag on watching Ron squirm. Just as he was ready to try again she started talking.

"You can't do that. You can't tell a girl that and walk away like it was nothing. If you meant it look me in the eye and tell me again and have the guts to stay and keep talking."

"Mione it wasn't easy to tell you. I've wanted to forever. I like you. I like you a lot. Do you know how hard it is to say that first not knowing what the answer will be? You may think I am an insensitive wart with the emotional range of a teaspoon but I do care. I can feel and have a sick idea how much it will hurt if you don't feel the same."

"You wanted to forever?" Hermione asked. She really was curious but she also knew she could keep control by asking questions. She'd waited a long time for this and him walking out after admitting his feelings was not how she dreamed it. She understood and had shared many of his fears and she liked the easy way he had of teasing her. but damn it just this once there would be some bloody romance! Even if she had to drag him to it kicking and screaming.

"Yes. You and Harry are my best mates but I've always looked at you a bit differently." Ron was staring at his hands in his lap. "I knew you were a girl long before I ever admitted it out loud. I'd catch myself listening to the sound of your voice or just watching your hands as your buttering your toast. I'd think how beautiful you are, how graceful and it would scare the hell out of me."

"Why?"

"I was going to ruin everything! You are my best friend and what if I made you uncomfortable and you didn't want to hang around me anymore? What if you wanted to stay just friends and it hurt too bad to be around you? What if we did get together and I messed it all up because I wasn't good enough for you. You are such a huge part of me already. I want you to be an even bigger part of my life but I've been scared to lose what I have."

Hermione looked down quickly. She was very happy and didn't want Ron to misinterpret the tears in her eyes. It was everything she hoped to hear and any thoughts of making him sweat vanished completely. She composed herself quickly and looked up at him again with her eyes still shinning.

"Ron look me in the eye and tell me that you like me and that you want me to be your girlfriend."

Ron's expression shifted quickly from surprise to a mixture of uncertainty and determination.

"I like you and want you to be my girlfriend."

Hermione smiled and slowly leaned forward to kiss Ron. Part of her was amused by the stunned look on his face before closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. It wasn't a deep kiss but it lasted several seconds and she gave his lower lip a slight tug with her teeth as she pulled back. She would like to act on an early impulse to snog him senseless but right now she needed just to be close to him even more. She scooted around him on the floor until her legs were spread to either side of his and was hugging him from behind.

"I like you too."

Ron reached up and hugged her arms to him and Hermione rested her chin on his shoulder. They stayed like this for several moments without talking. When they did speak they talked about all they had been through together but from a new and exciting perspective. They talked for hours as two friends who knew each other well and filling in the gaps with things once to personal to share. They told each other what they liked about each other and why. They talked about their hopes and dreams for the future. Having taken the first step in a relationship that had been a long time in coming, they were plunging in feet first. They were letting each other in and trusting each other with the things that make them happy and those that hurt the most. It was as scary as it was exciting and there would be no turning back.

a/ n Well there we are. Sorry it took so long, but I've been busy. I like parts of this better than the first chapter but it is short and I still might tweak it some based on any feedback I get. The next two or two and a half chapters are going to be focusing on Harry to set the rest of the story up. By the middle of chapter five they will be together again and I will be able to balance attention between them all a little better. Thx to those who have reviewed. I appreciate it and will spend more time responding as we go along.


	3. Harrys New Outlook

Harry put down his trunk and looked around his room. Despite his mood at being back at Privet Drive he had to smirk a little at the thought. No matter how much time he spent here it would always remain Dudley's second bedroom. A quick glance at the pile of Dudley's abandoned and broken toys in one corner and the untouched books in the bookcase confirmed this. With a sigh Harry bent down and began removing his own books and supplies and put them on the desk. Harry thought he might as well keep busy. Wouldn't Hermione be shocked to see him studying the first day of the holiday. He didn't have any homework and wouldn't even know what classes he'd be taking until O.W.L. results came later in the summer. He did, however, have a good reason for wanting to review and polish up everything that he had learned. When he was preparing to face off with a dragon in his fourth year he found it excellent motivation for the spell he was trying to learn. Well that dragon had nothing on Voldemort. Harry still wasn't thrilled with the prophecy but if it had to be him or Voldemort he'd rather it was Voldemort.

"Heaven help me," Harry thought. "I'm going to need to come up with a study schedule." Hermione, of course, would be proud while Ron would be scandalized.

"No help for it then, I won't tell Ron."

Just then there was a quick knock followed by a breathless, "You have a guest," and the sound of Dudley thundering down the stairs. Amused by Dudley's actions and knowing full well the cause, Harry got up and walked down stairs. Dudley was no where to be seen but in the entry stood Uncle Vernon and their neighbor Mrs. Figg.

"Good to see you again Harry," said Mrs. Figg cheerfully. "I was just telling your uncle that I have some odd jobs around the house that need doing and thought you might like to earn some extra money. Why don't you come over for tea and we can talk."

"Sure," Harry said, deliberately not asking his uncle's permission. Harry opened the door and held it for Mrs. Figg.

"Thank you dear."

Harry looked back as he closed the door to see Uncle Vernon purple faced, as usual around Harry, and staring suspiciously after them. Mrs. Figg had never been so nice to him in front of the Dursleys.

"I think Uncle Vernon is in shock."

"It might do the fat lump some good. You don't know how many times I wanted to strangle him and take you away. I've watched you most of your life and I just wish I could have done more for you. I know Dumbledore told you why it had to be this way but I wish I could have made things better somehow," Mrs. Figg sniffed.

Harry had learned last year that Mrs. Figg was a squib and had been watching out for Harry at Dumbledore's request. He used to think that his old babysitter disliked him and only tolerated him as a favor to the Dursleys. She had told him that she had to make him somewhat uncomfortable to stay on the Dursleys good side and to stay close to me. This was the first time though that he realized just how much she cared for him. All the time growing up thinking no one cared for him and people he'd never expect or didn't even know yet loved him. Mrs. Figg, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Hagrid. Knowing this didn't change the past but it did put a different light on things.

"You did all you could," Harry said. "You were right you know. If I enjoyed it too much the Dursleys would have put a stop to it. Still, I was happier with you."

"I know, it's just...you were such a sweet boy...and I never could hug you when you were sad."

Harry was trying to find the right words. He still found such clear displays of affection both extremely touching and disconcerting. With Ron and Hermione they were so close he'd know how to react but from anyone else it reduced him to Cho like status; emotional and unsure what to do. He wanted to say something nice but what would be good enough after that? Before Harry could wrap his mind around the question they had reached Mrs. Figg's door and she was ushering him in.

Inside, Harry looking from the entry hall to the living room saw a familiar form in flowing wizard robes and looking back at Harry with his intense blue eyes.

"Hello Harry."

"Professor Dumbledore! What-"

"You two sit and chat while I put tea on." Mrs. Figg said briskly and went in the kitchen. They both sat down slowly at the table. Harry felt Dumbledore's gaze and looked up to meet it.

"How are you Harry?"

"I'd say fine but what's the point of lying to an accomplished legilimens?" Harry smiled ironically. Dumbledore just waited. They both knew Harry wanted to talk or he would have stuck with a comfortable lie.

"I'm not angry anymore. I was so angry most of last year but now it's just gone. It burned up when I threw my tantrum in your office. For awhile I couldn't feel anything. Until the night of the leaving feast." Harry found himself telling Dumbledore everything. His desperation to have Sirius back. His talk with Sir Nicholas. His overwhelming sense of guilt. The small piece of comfort in his talk with Luna Lovegood. He talked about how he felt hurt and betrayed by Dumbledore all year. His anger at being left in the dark. The pain he felt every time Dumbledore refused to look at him. All the frustration and hurt came tumbling out but Harry continued to speak calmly.

"I said I'm not angry anymore. I'm not. I don't know how to feel. But I am sorry how I acted and what I said..."

"No," Dumbledore interrupted. "You said what you needed to say. Do not regret it. It's to your credit that you are willing to put it behind you but you had a right to your anger."

"I may have had the right to be angry at you for decisions you made but not for things neither of us could control. I was blaming you for my life and a future I didn't ask for. It's not your fault. As for the past...you did the best anyone could have done for me and I'm grateful. I wish things had been different but it's not your fault either. Voldemort destroyed many lives. I'm one of many and luckier than some." Harry said.

"Harry, you know I think, how highly I think of you. Your words are those of a grown wizard and I thank you for them. You have been asked to shoulder more than your share of an awesome burden and I'm sorry. Please remember that I am here to help you as are your friends and the many people who care for you. You are not alone in this. And Harry, you will not be defined by your burden alone. Remember what I said about the Mirror of Erised. Do not forget to live. Be happy. Enjoy those close to you. This is why we fight. Do not forget to live."

"I'm trying," Harry said. He looked down at his feet and then back at Dumbledore. "Sir, I put my trust in you from the beginning. I do not regret it."

"Thank you, Harry. Ah, Arabella please come sit. The three of us have business to discuss." Dumbledore and Harry stood as Mrs. Figg set down her tea tray and took a seat.

They actually talked about nothing much of importance before getting down to business. Harry would have to stay at the Dursleys for three weeks. He wasn't thrilled about it but there were compensations. He was encouraged to spend as much time as he liked at Mrs. Figg's. In fact, each morning after breakfast he was to come over for training with different members of the order for a couple of hours. Dumbledore had secured for Harry a waiver from the Ministry allowing him to practice magic under the direct supervision of a tutor. Dumbledore also would be teaching Harry two nights a week. Harry would be learning legilimency as well as occlumency. Dumbledore felt learning the former would help Harry master the later and again under the circumstances it would help if Harry could accurately tell when he was being lied to. Harry was given a book on each subject, instructions on what to practice before his first lesson, and his very own pensieve. Dumbledore spent much of their remaining explaining its use. When it was time to go Dumbledore grasped his shoulder and wished him luck. With a pop Dumbledore was gone.

That night Harry lay in bed thinking. Three weeks isn't too bad considering. He'd write a lot to his friends and they were sure to write back more this summer. He'd being seeing a member of the order every day. He'd have Remus and Dumbledore to confide in if he needed to. He could spend most of his time at Mrs. Figg's; writing letters, studying, or working. Mrs. Figg really did have a lot of odd jobs around the house she was willing to pay Harry to do. For doing the same kind of work the Dursleys made him do for free he could earn enough to buy some decent shoes, a couple of pairs of pants, and some shirts. He had nice sets of robes for Hogwarts and the wizarding world but his only muggle clothes were Dudley's over large and well worn hand me downs. Of course, the Dursleys might be willing to buy him clothes if he played it right. Uncle Vernon might be scared enough of Moody to open up his wallet. On the other hand, Harry would rather earn it himself than wear something the Dursleys didn't want to give him. If he was short what he needed he'd ask Lupin to change some gold from his Gringott's vault to muggle money. Best to ignore the Dursleys and let them ignore me. We will all be happier he thought. Harry practiced emptying his mind of all thoughts and emotions. When he fell asleep his mind was indeed peaceful and he thought to himself "Tomorrow I will remember to live."


	4. Party at the Dursleys

This was the best summer Harry had ever had. Not that he had much competition in that department. Sure he usually got free towards the end of the holidays to spend time with the Weasley's but the first half was always hellish. The Dursleys saw to that. Uncle Vernon's little chat with certain members of the Order at King's Cross had changed all that. All the Dursleys at first actually tried to be nice to Harry but it was very forced and unnatural. Harry knew that Uncle Vernon at least would eventually crack under the pressure of pretending to like him with a nasty display of temper. So he proposed a deal. He would be provided with adequate food and Harry would prepare his own meals. He'd clean up after himself but the Dursleys wouldn't use him as free labor. He'd come and go as he pleased but would stay out of the house as much as possible. When he was home he'd pretend they didn't exist and they would do the same to him. In short, they would avoid each other as much as possible and Harry would tell the Order he was well treated.

So far the arrangement had worked perfectly. He wasn't lonely the way he usually was in summer, either. Every morning he had defense lessons with Tonks, Remus, or another member of the Order. He even had a few sessions with Bill Weasley. Bill told him that Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had also been given waivers by Dumbledore and would be working with Harry when he was free to leave Privet Drive. In the meantime, Harry was learning tons and enjoying being able to do magic outside of Hogwarts. It was also just good to talk to people in the magical world. Remus and Tonks in particular liked to joke around and tell him stories while Harry got to know Bill. the oldest Weasley brother, better than ever before. Other than this, he was always busy studying or working for Mrs. Figg. He spent most of his time at her house and had tea with her every day. His occlumency lessons with Dumbledore were much better then they had been with Snape, and Dumbledore was pleased with Harry's progress.

Harry was often too busy to dwell on anything too negative but he couldn't ignore the underlying reason for the company he was getting and why rules were being bent for him and his friends. He was a target and his friends were targets too because of him and the Order needed him alive. He had to live or Voldemort would win. This line of thinking along with the lingering guilt for being happy when Sirius was gone led to some dark moments but he was healing. After all, Sirius was somewhere behind the veil and when Harry did see him again he wanted to have good things to talk about.

Two weeks into summer he'd fallen into a bit of a routine. Each morning he'd get up early to shower and make breakfast. Then he'd study for a couple of hours reviewing his notes. He took turns between DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions on a daily basis. He'd worry about other subjects when he knew what NEWT classes he was in. He thought about skipping potions but he still had hopes of being an auror so he'd stick with it. By nine thirty he was at Mrs. Figg's for two hours of training. Then whoever was teaching him would stay to talk and have lunch. After lunch he'd work in Mrs. Figg's garden or fix things around the house. In the afternoon he'd study occlumency and legilimency and talk with Mrs. Figg. Sometime after six he'd head home and fix his dinner. The evening would be spent reading and writing letters unless there was a lesson with Dumbledore. Before going to bed he'd do sit-ups and pushups until he was exhausted. He found it was easier to clear his mind before sleep when he was physically tired. Not much free time for a holiday but Harry was grateful not to have the chance to sit and brood.

After three weeks Harry was getting restless. He had finished painting Mrs. Figg's house and was done replanting her garden. She didn't have much do to anymore. His lessons from both the Order and Dumbledore were on hold until he went back to headquarters in another four days. He was anxious to go but in the meantime he was unaccustomed to having so much free time again and had no idea how to spend it. He spent part of that day buying new muggle clothes with his earnings. He had tea as usual with Mrs. Figg and had been real happy if uncomfortable at her reaction when he asked if he could write her from Hogwarts. She had cried and hugged him and said she'd love to hear from him.

Harry headed home feeling pleased with himself but it was not to last. As he walked through the front door he heard it.

"Boy, come here."

Thanks to their agreement Harry hadn't heard Uncle Vernon's voice in weeks. Hearing it now wasn't likely to be good news. Harry closed the door and walked over to stand in front of his beefy uncle.

"In three days we are going to throw a party for some important people from my work..."

"I'll spend the evening at Mrs. Figg's," Harry interrupted.

"No you will not! We invited families from the neighborhood to round out the list. They've seen you around the neighborhood and there would be questions if your missing" Vernon stated. "You will be there and you will behave. None of you unnaturalness."

"Wow, you know I've missed these little talks of ours," Harry smirked.

"Boy-!"

"Fine. I'll be there and show my face around. But once they see that you are not keeping me locked up in a cupboard or anything, I'm slipping away to my room." Harry stated flatly.

"Fine." Uncle Vernon grumbled and walked away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry did as he promised. He smiled. He shook hands. He remembered that he went to St. Brutus' School for Incurably Criminal Boys. As everyone broke into little chattering groups he felt safe to sneak up stairs with a plate of food. He was part way through a letter to Hermione ( her parents had insisted she spend at least part of the summer with them this summer but she had been in and out of Order headquarters all summer and wouldn't be there to stay until she came for his birthday) telling her he was leaving for headquarters tomorrow when there was a light knock on the door. He went to the door slightly bemused. The Dursleys would not bother knocking. He opened the door to see a beautiful girl with light gray eyes and long brown hair. Harry wasn't sure what her name was but knew Dudley had a thing for her and her family had been invited to give him his big chance. Harry had noticed him earlier and Dudley didn't seem to be doing well. Now she was standing in a white summer dress in his doorway and smiling shyly at him.

"Hi," Harry said.

"I was washing up," the girl began "and saw your light under the door on the way back. Why aren't you at the party?"

"I promised to make an appearance but didn't want to stick around."

"Lucky you," she grinned at him. "It looks like my parents are planning to stay to the bitter end."

Not sure what to say Harry decided to stick to the basics.

"I'm Harry. I'm sorry but I don't..."

"Lisa," she interrupted giggling and kept smiling at him.

Just then Pigwidgeon flew in the open window hooting and zooming around the room with his usual enthusiasm.

"Pig!" Harry hissed "You are going to get us both killed! Be quiet!" Harry made a leaping grab at Pigwidgeon and in one motion removed the message Pig was carrying and tossed it on his desk. He walked across the room and shoved him into the cage with Hedwig. The sudden company led to an indignant hoot from Hedwig. "Please Hedwig." Harry pleaded.

"I shut the door. With all the noise downstairs I don't think they heard."

Harry froze. He just realized he was alone with a beautiful girl in his room. A dream come true for most boys but Harry was horrified. How can he explain why a hyperactive owl had just given him a letter? If she asked a simple question about school he'd have to say he went to St. Brutus'. The potential here to make a complete ass of himself was very high. Why is nothing easy? He thought desperately.

"Are those owls yours?"

Ok. Keep the lying to a minimum. Tell the truth where possible.

"The snowy owl, Hedwig, is mine. The small one belongs to my friend Ron." So far so good.

"Hedwig? The patron saint of orphans?"

"Yeah," Harry found himself smiling. "I didn't know that when I named her but it is appropriate."

"They're trained to deliver messages?"

"Yes." Harry said and forced himself not to elaborate.

"Do you mind not mentioning this to anyone?" Harry grimaced and plowed ahead. "My Aunt and Uncle think I'm strange and if they knew I've talked about this..."

"Your secret is safe with me." Lisa assured. "It is so cool though! I wish I had a pet owl." She looked at Harry. "I don't think you are strange. I don't think you go to a school for incurable criminals either. You are no where near being a thug type. You don't do you?"

"No." What the hell, Harry thought. Stick close to the truth. "My parents before they died set money aside and arranged for me to go to a boarding school in Scotland. That's where I disappear to every year."

"Why do your relatives make you tell such a lie?"

"I don't think they like me very much." Harry tried to make light of it. They were both silent a moment. Harry was seated at the edge of his bed and Lisa was sitting at his desk looking at his unfinished letter. He hoped she wouldn't read something he couldn't explain.

"Who's Hermione?" she asked without looking at him.

"She's from my school. She and Ron are my best mates."

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Lisa asked blushing.

"No." Harry felt his face flush and his stomach churn as she looked up and beamed at him. She moved to sit next to him.

"I've seen you working at Mrs. Figg's house," she said. "I came here tonight with my parents because I hoped to talk to you."

Harry felt tongue-tied but he had to say something. He couldn't ignore that! Ok, Harry just talk.

'I'm really glad you came." he forced out.

Lisa smiled and leaned into him. Before he knew it he was being kissed by a girl for the second time. And thank you very much she wasn't crying! One hand was running through his hair and the other was pulling him closer. A gentle first kiss was quickly turning slightly frantic. The one small part of Harry's mind that was still working wondered if he knew what he was doing.


	5. Not so Smart

Well," thought Harry, "amazingly enough this both sucks and blows." Normally Harry would be overjoyed with the fact he would be leaving the Dursleys' today. In fact he definitely was still happy about it, he was just unusually preoccupied. He was sitting on his trunk waiting for someone from the Order to come pick him up near the front door. The memory of the night before kept running through his head. He had been kissed by a beautiful girl. Someone who liked him and just him. A beautiful girl who didn't even know about any of the 'boy who lived' nonsense. She had been nervous afterwards that he'd think she was too forward and wanted him to know that she really did like him and wanted to get to know him. Lisa had asked if Harry would write her and he had promised he would. As it all came flooding back to him, he closed his eyes and banged his head against the wall behind in frustration. Why could nothing for him ever be easy? What could he possibly have been thinking? Of course, he knew exactly what he was thinking; wow her lips are so soft and her skin feels so smooth. For a moment he was a normal boy who was acting and thinking as any boy being kissed by beautiful girl would. He didn't want it to stop and when it finally did he wanted it to happen again. Lisa liked him, wanted to get to know him, maybe be his girlfriend so what's the problem?

"The problem you idiot is you are the furthest thing from normal." Harry thought bitterly. "What are you going to tell her when you write? She is a muggle! You can't tell her about your potions homework on the uses of dragon blood or how good your getting at turning animals into water goblets!"

What was he going to write to her about? He'd have to lie to her through his teeth about practically everything. Even if she still liked him she would be liking a lie just as big as those who only saw him as famous Harry Potter. What about when she started asking questions about his friends and family and wanted him to open up to her the way Cho seemed to the year before? He couldn't tell her his parents had been murdered by a dark wizard or that the only connection he still had with his family just happened to be a werewolf. Even if by some miracle she thought he wasn't insane he could be getting both of them in trouble. At what point would the Ministry even allow him to tell the truth to a muggle? For that matter even having seen Pig delivering a letter how could he explain owl post or the fact that the owls weren't trained to fly back and forth between two places but actually delivered mail to an intended recipient. Maybe he could forward letters through Mrs. Figg, but how could he get explain to Lisa why she had to do the same? If the truth ever did come out would she hate him for it? Did he even want this to happen? Sure she is pretty and she likes him but he doesn't know her that well yet. That's the whole problem really, he should get to know her first but he can't and now he has to make a huge decision on where to go from here with nothing to go on.

Maybe he should of told her not to write. Wouldn't that have been brilliant Harry thought with disgust. Girl tells you she likes you, you snog her for twenty minutes, and promptly tell her you don't want to hear from her again. Lisa seems like a great girl why should he do anything to hurt her? Harry found himself hoping desperately that Remus was the one coming to pick him up. He desperately needed to talk this out with someone. Remus and Harry had gotten closer and closer over the last few weeks and Remus had gotten Harry through some of his tougher spots over Sirius. Harry could always talk to Ron and Hermione about this but Ron likely would be as clue less as him and as good as Hermione was with feelings she was still only his age and he needed experience more than theory right now.

It was with a great feeling of relief that Harry saw Remus and Tonks on the front porch after he opened the door a few minutes later.

"Hello Harry."

"Wotcher Harry!"

"It's great to see both of you." Harry smiled "I'm all packed lets get out of here."

"Where are the Dursleys?" Remus asked peering around Harry as he pulled his trunk through the door.

Harry Laughed. "The Dursleys decided that this time discretion is the better part of valor. They wanted to be as far away as possible when I was picked up. I just have to make sure the door locks behind me."

"Right then."

Harry and Remus stowed Harry's things in the trunk of a pale green car. It was similar but different in a few details from the car Mundugus Fletcher had driven them all to St Mungos in last Christmas. It was either a different car or possibly thought Harry the same car altered to look differently to anyone looking for the borrowed vehicle. Harry shook his head and imagined Mrs. Weasely's reaction if she knew.

The feeling of freedom was overwhelming and for s short wile Harry forgot his troubles. It was safer traveling this way blending in with the countless muggles on the road and Harry enjoyed the trip chatting amiably with Tonks and Remus. He suspected they were likely being watched by a larger guard that he couldn't see but chose this once not to ask. After a while Remus looked carefully at Harry and grinned.

"So I can tell you are trying to think of a way to ask me something so just spill it."

Harry hadn't intended to talk to Remus about this in front of Tonks but she had become a good friend over the summer too and maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear the female side of the situation either. He told them everything that happened and poured out his concerns carefully looking out the side window and refusing to look at them while he talked. The few quick glances he did risk confirmed the presence of two smirks but at least they weren't laughing outright. He knew he could trust them but he also knew there would be a price for their trust in the form of merciless teasing later. Remus started of with some practical advice. The ministry had long ago prepared a means for Hogwarts students to communicate with the muggle world without drawing suspicion. Harry could send his letters to a special office at the ministry and they would be forwarded by muggle mail as if they came from a normal boarding school called Hogwarts. Lisa could write to him at a phony address that actually went to the ministry and would be forwarded by owl to Hogwarts.

"As for what to do and what to tell her...I'm sorry but that is going to be up to you. You could tell her but she won't know you well enough to believe you. You would be fine with the Ministry and if she did cause trouble they would just obliviate her and ask you to be more selective in the future. The ministry is surprisingly flexible in this area. As important as secrecy is as wizards and witches marry muggles more often it is just a reality that at some point you are going to have to take that leap of faith and hope you chose someone you can trust." Remus said.

"I wasn't thinking of marrying her. I hardly know her and don't even know if I want to date her even. But how am I going to get to know her well enough to find any of this out if I have to lie to her?"

"No one said it isn't hard. The pure blood nonsense isn't the only reason most people in the magical world keep to themselves. You don't have to lie if you only hang around with people who are in on the secret.  
Still the problems can be worth it. My dad is a muggle and he and mum are great together. If mum hadn't taken the chance then I wouldn't be here. I know it isn't what boys do best," Tonks said with a grin "but you are going to have to figure out your feelings. Do you like this girl? Is she important enough for the headaches you are already figuring out? Or do you just feel obligated to a pretty stranger because she kissed you and made you feel good that someone was interested. You are a good hearted kid but if it is the last one all you owe her is to be honest how you feel. If after talking to her you decide not to pursue it she may be disappointed but if your kind and honest about what you want and why it wont hurt as much."

"Ok. thanks." Harry said his thoughts swimming with all the many possibilities. Did Harry like Lisa because she liked him? Certainly at this point it was basically all he knew about her. Still you had to start somewhere and it's not as if he had been beating off potential girlfriends with a stick. Although Remus and Tonks were now teasing him that he was at an age where his natural good looks would force him to do just that. He was silent for a little while with a lot to think about.

"Hey Harry."

Harry turned to look at Tonks with her very red streaked hair and lopsided grin.

"Anytime you need some girl advice don't hesitate to come to big sister Tonks. I know the enemy but I will always be on your side."

Cheers Tonks." Harry said with a huge smile on his face. Harry had always wanted a family more than anything and it always lifted his spirits that the people he cared about were so willing to claim him as their own. He lost his parents and Sirius but looking at how Tonks and Remus cared for him, how the Weaselys all took him in, and the way he could count on Ron and Hermione to stick by him through anything he he had begun to feel what it means to be part of a family. In particular he knew he felt like Ron and Hermione were his brother and sister and more. It had never been easy for Harry to share his feelings but he knew somehow he had to find a way to let them know how much they mean to him. He knew that they already know it but he needed to say it.

an My apologies to everyone that had been kind enough to review the first four chapters. I never intended to just drop things like that but real life intruded and I didn't have the time for some of the more fun stuff like writing. Now that I_'_ve got it going again I promise to not to take such a long break again. I hate being left in the middle like that too. Also yes I know Tonks; dad was a muggleborn not a muggle but way back in the sands of time when I started this I didn't know that.

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